My reset buttons save me from misery.

If I'm having a horrific day. If I'm feeling down... these things have been serving as my reset buttons for a long time now. It's amazing what simple things in life can do to your mood.

The Bubble Bath:

The hot water relaxes my muscles and the fragrant soap refreshes my senses. I feel rejuvenated after one of those. I wrap myself in my giant, fluffy, warm towel and treat myself to a pedicure. The results give me instant happiness.

The Nap:

Not always applicable, but when I do manage to fall into one of those deep slumbers I wake up feeling happy again. It's not just because my body has rested, it is also because most likely I would've had a lucid dream where I've been lying on the beach, sunbathing, lemonade in hand. Pure bliss.

The Shay Belaban (Tea with a spot of milk):

Just a spot of milk mind you. Too much milk ruins it for me. My sister brought home amazing Yemeni black tea that hits the spot. Of course I pour it into my favorite mug, two thirds tea, and a third of milk. A tea spoon of sugar. A bonus would be to have it with a grilled cheese sandwich. This drink is a remedy for my soul. Once the scent reaches my nose, memories of a happy childhood flash in front of my eyes. Life's complications become simple again.

I've been having a rough day, it was shay belaban that did it for me this time.

Myself

I come to this space when I have no one to talk to. Or no one to understand what I'm trying to say. Or when I just don't want to try and exert an effort in trying to make another person understand me.

I find myself talking to Myself. Myself understands me better than any other soul in this world. Myself knows my worries and my problems. Myself listens to me when I need to talk. Myself is always there for me. Myself is never too busy to answer my calls, or too tired to talk. Myself tells me what I need to hear. With Myself, I don't even have to speak the words for it to understand. I find myself doing a lot of things with Myself. We have tea together on the balcony, or play an online game. We have a lot in common. We like to read the same books. Watch the same movies. Wear the same clothes. The same jokes make us both laugh. The same situations also makes us both cry. We both like to dance.

So... the problem?

It gets boring after a while.

Children inspire me.

During break duty, I take my place on a bench. Arms folded. Sunglasses on. Looking strict and stern. The role that I have to play. Twice a week. I have to be the meanie. The one who imposes the rules. The one that punishes those who wouldn't follow them. Running children would slow down if they felt my obscured eyes following them. Trash would immediately go into the bin. Older kids would stop bullying the younger ones.
Yes. I had power. I had the power to control. I decided the fates of many. I could humor or humiliate. Praise or punish. The truth was, the children knew little of what was truly going inside my head. All they saw was a teacher. Sitting on the bench. Putting limitations on their every move. Forcing them to behave in a way that the adult world would accept. Teaching them how to follow the adult's world rules. How to understand their language. Stopping them from excess play, and excess noise, and excess chocolate.
What I saw in them were liberated souls. Running on infinite energy. Affected by the smallest of things. A tiny sticker shaped like a star would boost their esteem so that they felt like they conquered the whole world. A grasshopper would make them squeal in delight. Permission to let them help you with something made them feel like they were worthy. If you ask them to rub the board for you it would make their day. If you ask them to carry your books they would fight over who gets to carry the bigger pile. Red markings on their homework sheets determined their fates; A series of neat ticks on their sheets made them beam with delight. One tiny X, and their world would crumble.
The most amazing thing, is the fact that no matter how much you punish them, or yell at them, or enforce your rules on them, they still love you unconditionally. If they see you walking on the other side of the playground, they squeal your name, and come scrambling towards you. When they reach you they would fight over parts of you to hug. Three would wrap their arms around your waist, two others would hug an arm each, and a tiny one would grab a leg. There would be a lot of pushing and giggling. One kid might get hurt in the progress. When he starts crying, the girl who bumped him would apologize. Instantly they would go back to being buddies again, and they would start laughing again before his tears had a chance to dry up and were still resting on his cheeks.
They squeeze you making it difficult to move. They forgot that a lesson ago you let them stay in for P.E. They forgive you and hug you and carry your things for you. They write little "I love you" notes on bits of paper that they tore from their classwork notebooks.
These children, for some reason unknown, look up to me. I wish I could tell them that it is I who look up to them, but instead, I have to sit on my bench, with my stern face, making sure they follow the rules.

When I want to blog, I can't

The past couple weeks have been hectic. And I got a gazillion ideas for new posts during that time. I never was able to blog about what I wanted to blog about. Instead, I'm blogging about this:

The fact that when my life starts getting interesting, I don't have time to blog about it. When my life was boring, I had all the time in the world to blog, but I didn't know what to blog about. I don't even know why people blog, or why I started blogging in the first place.

Right now I want to blog but I'm just to tired to arrange my thoughts in meaningful sentences. I'm just going to type randomly. Unorganized and messy.

I like my new friends at work. They make me laugh. I am not on good terms with my mother and that is making me sad. I am going on a very interesting trip. The trip is about self discovery. I didn't come back yet but I'm enjoying every minute. I am listening to the song "You fill up my senses" as I type this. A fly flew into my shay belaban cup and died in there just now and I'm so glad it died because it was buzzing around me for the past half our. Flies make me angry. I am proud of myself because I had a problem and I was freaking out about it, but then I got my act together and actually got it solved (for the time being). I've been neglecting a few of my friends and I need to make it up for them. My best friend is seeing a guy that she calls "el taweel" because he's very tall... obviously...I think that's funny. I love my new crazy busy life but I'm missing myself when I had time to chill. I have a bunch of books that I wanna read and a bunch of movies that I wanna watch and a bunch of things that I wanna buy.

I actually took the car out alone a couple days ago.

I had to write that in a sentence on it's own because I'm so proud of me doing that. You know what, that fly that just died in my cup just got up again and started buzzing. Man, I hate flies. I'm very scared of failing. I'm also very scared of losing it. But I have an amazing person to back me up and I love what's going on with my life just now. I'm loving the roller coasters and the fatigue and the laughter and the tears and the entertainment and the midnight snacks. I think I'm sixteen again. The year 2009 was different. The year 2008 was sad. The year 2007 was lonely. The year 2006 was not me. They year 2005 was all about fear. The year 2004 was when I graduated, and the year 1982 was when I was born. The year 2010 is coming soon and I'm not going to worry about it. Because all the previous years happened and I'm still here. I'm still alive and I still know that I'm going to be okay.

Don't ask for explanations because I won't be providing them. Just read this and feel what your heart wants you to feel.

This is Going to be a Special Post.

Doesn't expect to read anything out of the ordinary. I don't have to explain why this is going to be a special post. Because feeling special differs from one person to the next. What you might see as ordinary, I could see as special.

I'm having one of the greatest weeks in a very long time. I can't remember when was the last time I felt so happy. My life has finally taken a different turn. My Ramadan prayers have been answered.

I will now just thoroughly enjoy the blessing that Allah has given me. I will savor every moment. I'm going to let my emotions flood over my soul, washing it. I am the curly headed sixteen year old again.

This last week, my cheeks have become more flushed and my smiles were seen more often. I discovered a new thing about myself. The pieces of the puzzle fit together perfectly. My life made sense. I combined all the horrible experiences of my life. The result was not one giant pile of shit. No, it was a meadow with flowers, birds and lots of laughing children running around.

Conclusion is this: Bad experiences could turn you into a horrible bitter person, or turn you into a happier being. I'm glad Allah did what He did. I'm glad I'm what I am now. I'm glad that when I feel the sunshine on my skin, I actually feel ticklish. I've turned into the happier being.

My Sad Oil Painting Experience

I haven't held a brush in five years. I forgot what turpentine smelt like. I forgot how we arranged colors on an artist's palette. However, I was still rather considered a "practicing" artist because my work is still somehow related to my education. I still draw occasionally and do the occasional design. I still read up on art and check out tutorials often. If I'm not painting now, that shouldn't mean that I should stop educating myself about it.

So there lies my mistake. Ever since I graduated I've been giving myself that excuse of I don't really have to paint to work on my skills, I can always just read up on art instead. Deep down I knew that something was wrong.

I'm not going to talk about what suddenly went wrong with my life, or how I suddenly realized I forgot how to paint. The longer I kept away from my canvas, the more difficult it was to get back to it. Like when you haven't talked to a friend in a very long time, when you call them up, you just don't know what to say, and it gets awkward.

I started buying fresh supplies often. I'd arrange them in a box and put them next to my canvas to give it company. Just to make up for the time I spent away.

Last time I looked, my colors had all dried up, and my canvas was still empty. That made my canvas sad, and made me sadder. I decided to just put everything out of sight so I won't have to deal with the guilt of my sad canvas's face looking up at me.

When people think of me as an artist I feel like a hypocrite, because artists paint, and I had abandoned that a long time ago. The only evidence of my past painting experiences were a few paintings hung up against the walls in our flat. That I wasn't even proud of.

So when one of my good friends took a drawing course, came over one day, and insisted that I show her how to oil paint, she really needed me to help her out and was really excited about it, I couldn't turn her down. Out came my dried up supplies, never used palette and brushes, and the white sad face of my canvas. I arranged everything for my friend and laid out some still life for her.

"yalla, paint."

"Show me how"

"At college they didn't show us how, they just told us to paint"

"I don't know how to paint, you have to show me"

At this point I felt bad for her. Her optimism and enthusiasm was too great, If I couldn't help myself with this, I should at least help her. So I grabbed a medium sized brush, dipped it in turpentine and started painting. We took turns painting. Neither of us had fun really. She was too scared, and I was too sorry for myself. I forgot how it was done.

So the result of my sad oil painting experience was this painting that you see. Ugly colors and incomplete objects. But at least my canvas isn't sad anymore.

My Sister Went to Dubai Carrying Six Kilos of Kahk..

....and came back carrying six boxes of Krispy Kremes.

She was gone to visit my newly married sister. We couldn't let her spent Eid all by herself in a different country... So off my younger sister went.

The Krispy Kremes where great. I wolfed down three pieces in less than fifteen minutes. Now I feel icky and bloated. In my defense, I really wanted to try them all and decide on a favorite. My mom just gave me a look and shook her head when I told her what I wanted to do. She took the boxes away and hid them.

So, because Dubai is the city of shopping, my sis came back with a bunch of really good things to wear. Out of all the things she got me, my favorite was a long flowy top that has mushroom houses, leprechauns and other creatures printed all over. I'm going to be wearing it tomorrow on my first day at work (After Eid vacation).

I've been reciting too many nursery rhymes in my head, I don't know if its because of the mushroom top. This I am thinking of now:

To bed, to bed
Says Sleepy Head
Lets stay a while, says Slow
Put on the pan, Says Greedy Nan,
Let's sup before we go.

The Sun Has Come Out.

Thank God I have gotten out of my dark gloomy state. I wish I knew what causes it. Must be a bunch of little things all bundled up together. Add hormones. There, you've got it.

When I'm in one of those depressed states it feels like the end of the world for me, but then one morning I wake up and I don't feel so bad anymore. I look at the sun and it still shines. Imagine waking up one day to a morning with no sun.

So yes, I am addicted to sunshine. It does affect my mood greatly. I've read somewhere about endorphins being released with sun exposure. I think that's kinda true. I love most when I shower and instead of towel drying my hair, I go out in the balcony and let the sun do it for me. Takes some of the pressure off.

Work starts next sunday, I wish I'd done more on my staycation.

Watch out! Mood Swing!

If I had a special power I would want to be invisible. Then see what people would do when they realize I no longer exist.

I wish my mood swings could be treated.

I took a personality quiz that was so accurate I freaked..

...below are my results:

Assertiveness (Low)

As someone low in assertiveness, you feel uncomfortable speaking out in front of others and taking charge. You tend not to talk much and let others control the activities of groups. You are also very friendly, considerate, generous and willing to compromise. For these reasons, you probably would not feel very comfortable in a leadership position. Compared to most people, you are reluctant to disagree with others. Indeed, you tend to find difficulty in disagreeing with others and are therefore inclined to deny your needs in order to get along with others.

You avoid disagreements and conflicts, in part, because you are trusting and considerate of other people's feelings. Although you want to succeed, being "the best" is not something that is supremely important to you. Thus, you feel comfortable cooperating with others even if it means not being recognized for your true abilities.

Being low in assertiveness has advantages and disadvantages. On one hand, assertiveness is very useful in situations that require tough decisions and where disagreement exists. Thus, in conflict situations you may find that others take advantage of you because you don't stand-up for yourself. On the other hand, being assertive all of the time can lead one to be perceived as aggressive. In contrast, people low in assertiveness are generally perceived as friendly and likable.

How does your level of Assertiveness pertain to your relationships?

Given your level of assertiveness, you probably find it easy to get along with most people. You tend to be agreeably considerate of others, and others like you because of it. In the short run, this may be fine in your relationships because you will likely be able to adjust your wants and needs readily. However, should you find yourself in a relationship with someone much more assertive that yourself, you may feel as though your partner does not take your concerns into consideration often enough. Therefore, you may be most comfortable in a long-term relationship with a person who is also low in assertiveness.

Self-Discipline (High)

The self-discipline personality dimension captures the way in which a person regulates and directs his or her thoughts and behaviors. As someone who is high in self-discipline, you are able to persist at difficult or unpleasant tasks until they are completed. Indeed, you are able to overcome most obstacles that may stand in the way of you completing tasks and you're able to remain focused as you follow through with your plans.

Being high in self-discipline can be both good and bad. Occasionally people may be compelled to follow their intuitions and give in to their temptations, and your degree of self-discipline makes this unlikely to happen. This can be especially good in circumstances where focus and control are very important. However, on certain occasions being able to let loose and give in to one's temptations can be fun and even healthy (as long as it's in moderation).

As someone who exerts a fair amount of control over your actions, you have the potential to stress yourself out too often. For example, you may be inclined to take more responsibility on projects, which isn't always necessary. This may be because you have a tendency to take control of situations, and this can create unwanted additional stress. Nevertheless, it's likely that your high degree of self-discipline will enable you to go very far in your career.

How does your level of Self-Discipline pertain to your relationships?

Given your level of self-discipline, you may find it difficult to get along well with everybody. Although you may very well like most people, you may perceive people who don't share your work ethic as lazy and unmotivated. For this reason, you would probably be most satisfied in a romantic relationship with a person who is also very self-disciplined. Being in a relationship with someone who isn't may be fun at first, but it's likely that you both will become somewhat irritated with each other over time. Indeed, it may turn out that your tendency to work long hours will create some stress in the relationship. Thus, it might be easiest and most satisfying for you to develop a long-lasting relationship with a person who is similar to you in this respect.

Sociability (High)

As someone who is sociable you enjoy the company of others, are friendly to most people, and feel comfortable meeting new people. Compared to other people, you would much rather spend time working and relaxing with others than alone. Indeed, you probably find your social relationships very stimulating and value them very much. This emphasis on relationships paired with your tendency to genuinely like other people allows you to express your feelings towards others quite easily.

Being high in sociability is generally associated with the tendency to experience a wide variety of positive emotions, including optimism, enthusiasm, and general happiness. This is not to say that you never have bad days, but that you probably experience more good days than bad ones.

You probably make friends easily, and spend a fair amount of time with them. Perhaps it's your enthusiasm and ability to express your feelings that makes others feel comfortable coming to you for advice.

How does your level of Sociability pertain to your relationships?

Given your degree of sociability, you probably get along well with most people you meet. Thus, you're probably very fun on dates because your social skills make your partner feel comfortable. Being in a relationship with a person who is as sociable as you are should be very pleasant because you'll both enjoy activities that involve others. However, should you find yourself in a relationship with a person who does not enjoy being with others as much as you do, then this may make it difficult for you both to agree on how to spend your time. Yet, with your ability to express yourself, you should be able to tell your partner how you feel so that you're able to comprise.

Self-Confidence (Low)

As someone with low self-confidence, you tend to question your abilities and competence, and to feel uncomfortable with yourself. Compared to others, you tend to take a less positive view of yourself, occasionally feel depressed, and find it difficult to make decisions. A tendency to question yourself and to regret things you've done or said can make it difficult for you to feel completely satisfied with yourself.

Feelings of self-confidence are linked to the ways in which people interpret the events that take place in their lives. Although you have several strengths, you have a tendency to focus on your weaknesses and to be overly critical of yourself. This style of thinking can make it difficult for you to overcome your perceived weaknesses. However, it's extremely likely that you possess more strengths than you give yourself credit for and that your "weaknesses" are not nearly as bad as you may be inclined to think. In many instances, reframing a situation can help you recognize that the things you regard as weaknesses are actually strengths.

How does your level of Self-Confidence pertain to your relationships?

Because you are inclined to question and doubt yourself, you may find it hard at times to connect with others, especially those that you're meeting for the first time. Indeed, it's self-confidence that allows people to feel comfortable interacting with others without feeling insecure and vulnerable. Thus, in your romantic life, you may occasionally find it difficult to trust others because it may be unclear whether your relationship partners always take your wants and needs into consideration. This may prove especially difficult early in a relationship until you have a firm idea about whether a romantic interest is trustworthy or not. It might therefore take longer for you to develop a good sense of whether a person you are attracted to is the right person for you. Perhaps the one thing you should be most cautious of is whether your romantic partners are not taking advantage of you.

Imagination (High)

As someone who is very imaginative, you have a strong appreciation for beauty, both in art and nature. Indeed, it's likely that you appreciate art, culture, science, and technology. One defining feature of the imagination dimension is the tendency to think about abstract concepts and ideas. This style of thinking may take the form of artistic and metaphorical use of language, and/or music composition or performance. Being high in imagination does not necessarily mean that you are or would like to be an artist or scientist. It just means that you derive a certain degree of intellectual satisfaction from abstract thinking. Thus, it's likely that, either in your work or spare time, you enjoy activities that involve creative thinking.

Your tendency to be open-minded can have advantages and disadvantages. For instance, when there are no clear rules about how to approach a particular problem, your level of imaginativeness may make it easier for you to identify new ways to solve problems that may not be very obvious to people that are not as creative as yourself. In contrast, you may be bored easily in situations that lack high amounts of intellectual stimulation. In such cases, you may have difficulty excelling on projects that do not provide much stimulation or require much creative thinking.

How does your level of Imagination pertain to your relationships?

Your high level of imaginativeness probably makes it easy for you to respect and appreciate people that are different from you. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, your openness may make it difficult for you to tolerate people that cannot appreciate diversity as much as you. Therefore, you may be happiest in serious relationships with people that are as imaginative as yourself.

Fitting In.

Four days have passed since the start of my new job and tomorrow will be the end of the first week. So far I have conquered five out of the six other teachers that hang around in my staff room...

This has been done very simply. The idea is to be totally alert and focused. Keeping the sarcastic humor to a minimum, setting your smiling abilities to the maximum and never, ever complaining.

Lending a helpful hand in what you do best, also helps a lot. Today I helped someone type in the name tags. The day before I was helping with a cardboard display and before that I was drawing miniature stars. Doing that with a smile surely does get to them. Smiles can really be so deceptive.

So today I got an iftar invitation from one of the teachers. I was very flattered. This means my plan is working.

I don't think I'll be able to conquer the sixth teacher though. She seems to be living in a world of her own, keeping distance. So I'll just be happy with the five new friends I made... for now.

Starting next week. I'll be working on conquering the bus.

More mistakes?

So now that a lot of people know about my blog I'm beginning to regret telling people about it. The thing is I cannot get too personal even if I wanted to. I have often had thoughts and events that I wanted to blog about but couldn't because I was just too worried a specific person would read and then they'd know something that I didn't want them to know. Now its gotten pretty annoying because sometimes I just want to bitch about someone or something or I want to be angry or happy or maybe I just want to talk about something that would be considered a taboo. Or maybe I should just go back to writing in my journal. But even that is risky because its very possible that I might die someday before I have the chance to burn it and then someone would snatch it and read and read and read about all my deep dark secrets. I'm not feeling very functional today. My brain is whizzed and I think I should get to bed. Whizzed? Why the hell have I even using this word???

Maybe I'll start a new anonymous blog that I won't tell anyone about. Then I can seriously write whatever I want to talk about and no one will know its me. Being anonymous does indeed piss a lot of people off. We always want to find out about things we cannot find out about.

I've been feeling Satan buzzing around me for the past week urging me sin. I'm sure he wants to get me to pile up on the sins before he gets chained up during Ramadan, then he can pick where he left off when he's free again. I hate you ..my Satan...wherever you are........... YOU SUCK!! My Satan did indeed succeed in making me sin several times and I hate him for that and I hate myself for letting him get to me.

I'm so happy Ramadan is happening tomorrow. Life is good when you have a chance to wash away some of the darkness that has been obscuring the heart.

I really want to be a good Muslim.

You Know You Haven't Gone Out in a Long Time When..

- The last movie you saw at the cinema plays on MBC 2.
- The shisha menu shows new flavors such as Cola and Bubble Gum. When you comment everyone at the table looks at you and says, "They've been there for a while!"
-You actually look forward to a trip to the supermarket.
-You have lots of clothes that you love but never really get to wear.
-Your shoes are always spotless.
-You find yourself wanting to dress up when your friends tell you to meet for coffee. Stilettos and a sparkle top.
-You start being the cat's favorite person in the house.
-Your salary hangs around for a very long time.

I Dream...

Of waking up one day to the sound of someone bringing in shay bi laban for me.

Of owning my own apartment, furnished with things I brought from all over the world.

Of painting again.

Of building a giant sand castle, decorated with sea shells, not alone, but with a lot of friends.

Of helping all the homeless children who roam the Egyptian streets.

Of having a little girl to finger paint with.

Of going on a road trip.

Of making my own clothes.

Of writing and illustrating a children's book, and getting it published.

Of inspiring someone to become a better person.

Of learning how to fight back.

Of having an English Tea Party in my back garden.

Of Belly dancing like a pro.

Any Post is Better than No Post

.... So I decided to just put my fingers on my keyboard and write whatever my fingers start typing.

I'm trying to practice something my fabulous primary school English Teacher taught us to do. She called it "Free Writing." That's when you just sit and write whatever comes to your mind. She says it's good practice to encourage the flow of words, and all writers should constantly practice doing so to keep the flow going. Kind of like when you need to work out to stay in shape. You need to work out your creative writing part of your brain to keep it in shape. Makes sense?

I wish I had something to write about. So far nothing has been inspiring to me for the past fews days. I started looking for inspiration in little things. My days have been seriously boring. I don't do much. Mostly hanging around the place. Reading articles online. Observing the cats. Studying the state my skin is in, after being seriously sun burnt last weekend and having difficulty moving about and lying on my back, my skin is almost recovered. The dead, burnt skin has fallen off now, revealing beautiful brand new baby skin. I have discovered that the skin indeed is a beautiful organ. I try to massage olive oil all the time to help with the healing. If it wasn't for the entertainment I have been getting from my skin while it was peeling, I seriously wouldn't have had anything better to do.

I'm craving a double scoop of home made, vanilla ice cream with deep fried bananas and caramel sauce. Maybe some crunchy caramelized almonds on top.

Lucid Dreams

I never took it seriously until I accidentally came across a book called "The World of Lucid Dreaming." I was looking for some ebooks to download and this was one of them. The title caught my eye. I don't know where I learnt that a lucid dream is a dream where you realize that you're dreaming. I didn't know that lucid dreams were taken seriously. I didn't know that there was a book that discussed them. I downloaded it and started reading it. Was a fascinating book. I learned that there are certain things you can do to make lucid dreams happen.

Fortunately for me, I already had experience with such dreams. I have always been in touch with my creative side. The result was that I often had pretty creative dreams. Some where just so unusual they surprised me. After reading most of the book, I began to understand that a lot of things can be accomplished inside a dream.

You can meet people you always wanted to meet in your dream, celebrities, political figures, dead people.. you name it. After a lot of practice, I decided that I would use the next lucid dream as a chance to try and meet prophet Muhammed (pbuh). The result was that in the dream, he was supposedly behind a door. When I opened a door I found a man telling me "It doesn't work that way." I woke up feeling very surprised. How did the man in the dream know what I was trying to do?

Lucid dreams also work really well when you're having a nightmare. You can turn the nightmare into a dream. A few days ago I was dreaming that a bunch of monsters were running after me. No matter how much time I spent running from them they were always on my trail. I suddenly decided to check if I was dreaming. That I personally do by initiating flight. If I start flying, then I know I'm dreaming. So I did start flying and flew away from the nightmare into a more appealing place.

Choosing what you want to do with your dream is always the tricky part. I often decide to become some heroic character, or heart throb, or get romantic with any unidentified dream guy that I could come across in the "dream set." I often find myself heading to the beach in a lime green two piece, swimming, tanning and having the time of my life.

The downside however, is that I did get somewhat addicted to them for a while. Being able to live a part of life that you cannot live in reality, and being able to accomplish that so easily, always left me in a state of euphoria when I got up. I always get up feeling. "Wow, that was fun."

I'm not addicted anymore. I don't focus on having lucid dreams anymore. I do however enjoy them to the fullest when I do start having one.

They make my day.

25 Facts About Me

1- I'm grateful for my teacher, Ms. Maureen. She taught me how to express myself in words.

2- I've been keeping a personal diary since I was 12.

3- The sound of a person chewing is usually the main reason why I might leave a room.

3- I love acting and I took part in several plays growing up. Once as a main character.

4- I love sleeping because I love dreaming. I accomplish 70% of what I want to do in real life during my sleep.

5- If I was an animal I would be an eagle.

6- My favorite color is green. My second favorite is yellow.

7- I love cloud formations and I could spend hours observing them.

8- I had an imaginary friend when I was in high school.

9- My first drawing objects were mermaids and cats.

10- Sunsets make me cry.

11- I wanted to be an astronaunt..and still do.

12- I have no specific ONE best friend. Just a bunch of good friends who complete each other.

13- I honestly love hearing your point of veiw.

14- People fascinate me. I find them to be walking miracles.

15- One of my dreams would be to go swimming with dolphins.

16- My exterior does not reflect my interior.

17- I did not write this in order.

18- I believe that an apple a day does NOT keep the doctor away. Tried and tested.

19- I feel uncomfortable sharing personal details with close ones. Yet I might open up to total strangers whom I'll never see again.

20- I believe that lots of orange juice and lots of honey will cure the swine flu.

21- I want to go to India, China and Indonesia. Not neccessarily in that order.

22- I believe that dates, figs, pumpkins, pomengrates and olives are MAGIC foods.

23- This is not as easy as I thought it would be.

24- I still have the doll I used to carry as a two year old. She's in peices but I still love her.

25- I think death is liberating.