So now that a lot of people know about my blog I'm beginning to regret telling people about it. The thing is I cannot get too personal even if I wanted to. I have often had thoughts and events that I wanted to blog about but couldn't because I was just too worried a specific person would read and then they'd know something that I didn't want them to know. Now its gotten pretty annoying because sometimes I just want to bitch about someone or something or I want to be angry or happy or maybe I just want to talk about something that would be considered a taboo. Or maybe I should just go back to writing in my journal. But even that is risky because its very possible that I might die someday before I have the chance to burn it and then someone would snatch it and read and read and read about all my deep dark secrets. I'm not feeling very functional today. My brain is whizzed and I think I should get to bed. Whizzed? Why the hell have I even using this word???
Maybe I'll start a new anonymous blog that I won't tell anyone about. Then I can seriously write whatever I want to talk about and no one will know its me. Being anonymous does indeed piss a lot of people off. We always want to find out about things we cannot find out about.
I've been feeling Satan buzzing around me for the past week urging me sin. I'm sure he wants to get me to pile up on the sins before he gets chained up during Ramadan, then he can pick where he left off when he's free again. I hate you ..my Satan...wherever you are........... YOU SUCK!! My Satan did indeed succeed in making me sin several times and I hate him for that and I hate myself for letting him get to me.
I'm so happy Ramadan is happening tomorrow. Life is good when you have a chance to wash away some of the darkness that has been obscuring the heart.
I really want to be a good Muslim.
